The Other Side of The Rainbow

Being a single mother wasn’t something Evaline had ever contemplated, but life had thrown some lemons her way this last year and god-dammit Evaline was determined to make some amazing lemonade out of it for her babies.

Taking over Nikolai’s jobs around the ranch wasn’t easy for her.

  The tears came, and sometimes it was a while before they left, but eventually the work rituals became soothing and Evaline found herself finding a peace she hadn’t expected in tending to the things most important to Nikolai.

Evaline couldn’t fill the hole in Domino’s heart, but that didn’t stop her trying to pull Domino from the depression she’d sunk into after Nikolai’s death. It was clear that it would be awhile before Domino could face another rider other than her beloved master.

Business was business though, and with the bills from the funeral piling up and the cost of raising two babies alone increasing, Evaline had to make the decision to sell Alize. It was difficult, but it was clear that without Nikolai, Evaline couldn’t manage the beautiful unicorn palomino alone.

A few neighbours stopped by every so often to check in on the family and see how they could help. The Killarney’s offered babysitting assistance, while widow Darley dropped off meals once a week. Even a local celebrity, Rodney Hale, stopped by to offer his condolences.

Maybe it was because Evaline was feeling lonely. Or maybe it was because Rodney took a liking to her. There were a million possibilities for why, but perhaps it’s the least important question of all.

Someway, somehow. Rodney ingratiated himself into Evaline’s world. He popped around every day, checking on how everything was going and flattering Evaline into blushing submission. Something a woman with eight children had almost forgotten was possible.

Flirtation gradually transformed into something more, and one night, when the Killarney girls were watching the twins, Evaline found herself succumbing to Rodney’s charming ways.

And then there was nothing.

No calls, no pop-ins, no letters.

Nothing.

Months passed and she didn’t hear from him, not one word. Only her shame at her bad judgement and the bulge of her stomach remained as a reminder of him.

Evaline had never felt more used. The flutter in her belly both scared her and delighted her, all at once. For all the negativity that Rodney had brought into her life, she would never regret the child that grew within her. It just wasn’t in her.

So Evaline did what she does best. Mothering.

Even if pregnancy did come with a couple of catches – Sore back anyone?

And when the babies were sleeping, Evaline got to work on the chores.

Whenever the babies or the chores didn’t have a hold on her, Evaline got to work setting up a new career for herself so she could support her babies as best she could. Her life had been full of trials and tribulations, so it seemed natural for her to tell her story to others, through the medium of a computer and a quiet cup of coffee.

It wasn’t easy work, but it was as cathartic as any job could be, and it helped Evaline make some sort of peace with the world she lived in. And if it brought in a couple of dollars, even better!

A phone call from Rodney, three weeks from her due date, did its best to disturb that newly found peace. A booty call that ended with a surprise pregnancy announcement – talk about a mood killer, for him at least.

Rodney’s reaction was not exactly that of a happy expectant father-to-be. The shock of his reaction startled Evaline, even though it was half expected. The ghost of Nikolai’s ecstatic reaction contrasted terribly with Rodney’s denial of his babies.

The tears brought on by his disappointment were bitter but short-lived. Less than a week later Evaline’s water broke, soaking the living room floor and denying her the ability to wallow in any remnants of self-pity any longer.

Another half-hysterical, lane confused drive to the hospital later (I really wouldn’t advise anyone follow in Evaline’s tyre squealing footsteps when they’re expecting a new arrival).

A few hours later, much to Evaline’s surprise, Rodney arrived at the hospital, nervously pacing in the waiting room as Evaline brought his child into the world.

Or shall we say, children?

No one was as surprised as Evaline to find out that one baby had in fact hidden another!

Which is how, late one afternoon, Evaline found herself returning home with two little bundles of joy.

Lucas and Cassia - Babies No. 9 and 10

Unfortunately Rodney’s momentary good intentions were just that – momentary. The second Lucas and Cassia started screaming for a bottle or a diaper change, Rodney legged it out of the house as soon as possible.

Evaline wished she could be disappointed, but she’d expected no less from him. Some men just weren’t Daddy material. It was a lesson she’d learnt the hard way.

With a newly toddling set of twins and a set of brand new infant ones, Evaline didn’t have time to dwell on the failure of Rodney.

Doesn’t she look like her Mommy!

Instead she threw herself into preparing Hope and Valor for childhood whenever Lucas and Cassia were ensconced happily with the realm of their sweet dreams.

It definitely wasn’t the easiest time in her life, but it was certainly one of the most rewarding.

Every night when she dropped into bed, she knew that her family was happy, safe and warm at night, all because of her own efforts.

Okay, so sometimes she didn’t make it all the way to the bed, but still!

They were crazy days, but great ones too. Evaline couldn’t help but wish that Nikolai was around to share them, even if it was impossible. Sometimes she let herself give in to the grief and cry for just a little while, so that she could keep going without him.

And then a miracle happened.

Nikolai.

The moment Evaline saw him, she couldn’t hold herself back. It was impossible, she knew, and yet he was there.

Right in front of her. Right there.

Real.

Ignoring all the rules of the living and the dead, she rushed into his arms and never wanted to leave.

He felt real and yet she could see straight through him. His kiss was as real as it had ever been. His arms as strong as before. And he was with her.

Wishes, hopes and dreams all came together in an almighty collision of dangerously disastrous imaginations.

And then the night ended, and with it, Nikolai disappeared.

Devastation swept through Evaline as hard and as fierce as the first time she lost him. The children, unaware that their Daddy had come back for a single night, ran about in the early morning, excited about their birthdays that very day. Evaline grinned and smiled and forced happiness into her eyes even as this fresh grief tried to consume her.

Valor took the brave steps into childhood first …

Whilst Hope followed in his happy little footsteps a few minutes later …

Distractions abounded with four little kids going bonkers on the ranch, so Evaline gave in and let them take over. Happy kids were always the best distraction.

Months passed with Evaline’s attention split between her beautiful children and pining for the ghost of her husband. And then, on another night so much like that magical one before, Nikolai returned.

This time, Evaline and Nikolai gave into the urge to be as close as possible to one another, never wanting to leave each other’s side.

And then, just as before, Nikolai left with the rise of the sun.

A strange peace overcame Evaline’s grief this time, because now she knew that this was the last goodbye with her beloved husband. Whatever Gods existed, they had decided to grant her the last moments with her husband that she had been denied.

Time passed and an impossible gift began to grow within Evaline.

A baby.

Nikolai’s baby.

Keeping Mum seemed the only option, so she watched and beamed with pride as baby Lucas and sweet Cassia grew into smart and adoring toddlers.

While the teen years rolled around with a scary speed for Hope and Valor. It seemed that it was just yesterday that they were two little babies fresh from the hospital.

And as the dust settled on the newest round of birthdays, Evaline waited in the front yard for Nikolai to appear for the last time. She couldn’t explain how she knew he would appear or that it would be for the last time, it was just a knowledge that had seeped into her mind and rang as true as a child’s laughter.

And Nikolai didn’t disappoint.

For the second time in her life time and the first in his death, Nikolai got down onto one knee and proposed to his soul mate. Evaline’s ‘Yes’ could be heard two counties over. And so with little fanfare and a lot of tears, Evaline and Nikolai committed themselves to one another for eternity.

The night seemed to last forever, but as dawn crept closer, they knew that their time together was coming to a close. A sad peace came over the two of them, and as the sun started its climb, Nikolai asked only one thing of Evaline, for her to continue their dream of having 100 babies and 50 foals. The Powers-That-Be had deemed that if Evaline could fulfil their youthful vows, he would be granted the chance at living once again. Where he dwelled now, jealousy and anger held no place in the heaven that claimed him, only the importance of hopes and dreams remained of any importance. And his greatest dream would be to see their vow fulfilled, so he could be alive and a part of their world once more.

Evaline was uncertain at first. Could she truly commit herself to being with other men to achieve her husband’s return? The experience with Rodney had been awful and she could not imagine going through it again.

Nikolai understood her trepidation. It was only through the clarity of death that he could truly understand the importance of creating happy and fulfilling lives. He promised that if Evaline was brave enough to continue the undertakings they had embarked on together, he would be with her each step of the way (well, not EACH step, but the less intimate ones anyway) and provide her with his ghostly guidance when she was choosing her partners so that she would never experience something so terrible again.

And so, with a head full of anxiousness but a heart full of hope, Evaline promised to fulfil their vow.

With one final kiss, the Sun stole Nikolai away and Evaline faced the new day on her own.

They would be the first and last tears she would shed over the beautiful gift her husband had given her.

Life.

Love.

Purpose.